Partly Sleety with a Chance Intermittent Interruptions
About every three years, we Texans get a true taste of winter. Temperatures fall below freezing; we bring out our sweater; closed toe shoes are necessary, and sometimes precipitation intermingles with our regular humidity causing a SNOW DAY! I love a good snow day. A free pass to not work, skip working out, and time to work on watching bad television. If only bad television was NOT interrupted by bad local news updates.
On rare occasions, I get the opportunity to almost act retired and enjoy an hour of The Price is Right, Let’s Make a Deal and/or whatever daytime network drama is still playing in the midday time filler. Snow Days should be THAT day one sits in their pajamas, sips spiked cocoa, and mindlessly interacts with old fashion television. Binge watching does not count as a Snow Day activity as binge watch credits only count when you use value productive time to zip through 26 hours of must-see TV. If “I should have . . .” cannot come out of your thought process, then binge-watching counts for NOT accomplishing household chores, organizing tax receipts, spending quality time with family and/or eliminating items from your closets and cupboards.
Snow days are unaccounted planning time. No one says, “On the next snow day I will strip the floors and buff them,” or “I will try on all my clothes and throw out the never-will-fit-again selections.” Cable watching counts for snow days, but with too many selections and 90% of all choices are reruns of material we watched in black and white as kids, network television is a fun escape. Except for the immediate need for local news to bring us uninterrupted broadcasts of events we are watching in real time out our windows.
The breaking news of iced-over bridges and over-passes is NOT breaking news. We are home because bridges and overpasses may have iced-over. I do not need to witness the fool in a pick-up truck sliding down the iced-over bridge and into the guardrail. He is the reason my insurance keeps rising. I do not need to see a house on fire because someone left a roll of paper towels on top of a space heater. I do not need to hear traffic reports of major highways. I am NOT traveling anywhere and am certainly not making a phone-a-friend-call to warn them the interstate is shut down. Why do we have television traffic reports? If we are home watching television, why do we care where the traffic is stacking?
I do not need to see the local reporter shivering in front of a building to understand what cold is—I can walk outside and figure it out. I need to know the price of a 2018 Kia Rio without going over manufacture retail pricing. I need to know how many bags of chips to “purchase” to qualify for a trip to dangerous parts of Mexico. I need to watch wheel spinning techniques to land on just the right numbers. I do not need to look at an empty school parking to understand sane people are home and not attempting to be a superhero going to work/school on a Snow Day. Power outage reports are only beneficial to those who are out of power, but they cannot get the special report because they have no power.
Snow Days are not the only victim of over-obvious television interruption. Rain events are fair game for ‘news’ to surface in the middle of a perfectly good daytime drama. Safety first is critical for all, but we are forced to watch what common folks do in uncommon events. Hours of watching the rescue of a fool who drove directly into a flooded road are most frustrating. A quick voice over and a short camera pan can say it all in less than 30 seconds. Buses splashing curb water on to sidewalks is not news, it is a reflection of poor drainage planning.
The single exception to television interruption is thunderstorm/tornado warning reports. The information shared is valuable to anyone in the path of impending impaling flying objects, but chances are your phone will provide you with the information long before you turn on your television. The aftermath of severe weather is interesting for 15 minutes but stretching out a report to fill time that could be filled with spinning wheels and bright lights sends me back to old fashion book reading.
Welcome spring! I look forward to the boring weather you bring with ailing allergies and pesky pollen. The chances of a newsflash interruption on the endless drought are as probably as rain. Pardon this interruption—I have an appointment with a wheel of fortune.